HOW COULD JESUS BE SUCH A RUDE, OBNOXIOUS, SELF-IMPORTANT JERK?

8/19/13

Yesterday I had the opportunity to read, for about the millionth time (“I’ve told you a million times not to exaggerate!”   But I digress.) Matthew 15: 21-28.   You know the story.   A Canaanite, therefore a Gentile, woman, calls out to Jesus

“Have pity on me, Lord, Son of David!  My daughter is tormented by a demon.” (Matthew 15, 22)

Jesus replies with a cold, hard-hearted

“I was sent only to the lost sheep of the house of Israel.”  (Matthew 15, 24)

To her repeated pleas, Jesus gets even colder and more hard-hearted, seemingly downright rude and heartless

“It is not right to take the food of the children and throw it to the dogs.”  (Matthew 15, 26)

Then the woman, not to be denied, retorts with something that I suspect neither you nor I would say.  We’d probably say something unprintable, or at least I know I would.   But she says

“Please, Lord, for even the dogs eat the scraps that fall from the table of their masters.” (Matthew 15, 27)

Jesus finally relents

“O woman, how great is your faith.  Let it be done to you as you wish.”  And her daughter was healed from that hour.  (Matthew 15, 28)  (Emphasis mine)

This story has troubled me, and doubtless millions of other Christians, for years.   How could Jesus, the Son of God to whom we have devoted our lives, the man of such great mercy and compassion, be such a jerk to this woman?

About twenty years ago, I heard this behavior of Jesus explained away by a priest I respect as a matter of culture.  This was completely unsatisfying, but at least the guy tried to explain this seeming embarrassment.   So I continued to think and pray on this passage, and I think the answer has finally come to me over the last few years, perhaps due to my innate slowness.

Jesus acted like such a rude, insolent boor to this woman in order to show us how we appear, indeed, how we really are, when we determine that people are not entitled to God’s love and mercy because they don’t think like we do or don’t go to the same church that we do.   When we think we, and only we, have the keys to the kingdom, we sound like obnoxious, arrogant, self-satisfied hypocrites…just like Jesus sounded, intentionally, to the Canaanite woman.

Further…

Jesus tells the woman that it is her faith that saved the woman and cured her daughter, not her belonging to a certain parish or a certain religion and not her somehow earning His mercy through her good works…as prescribed by her church.   It is her faith in Jesus that saved the woman and her daughter, not her membership in the right ethnic group or religion.  

It is the same with us.   Our faith saves us.   Our certainty that we and only we are right makes us sound like, and be, jerks…and separates us from the One to whom we purport to want to get closer.

YOU MEAN THOSE PEOPLE ARE GOING TO HEAVEN, TOO?!

7/15/13

What is the measure of one’s Christianity, of one’s devotion to the way of our Lord?  How do I know if I am indeed following the way of Jesus?   How do I know, to put it in vague and often misunderstood terms, how good a Christian I am?  

Wise people have been searching for such a measure since Jesus walked physically on this earth, and since long before then if we take in the full implications of Jesus as God.   While the search has been fruitful, the results have been disappointing, or at least frustrating, because there is no ONE measure of one’s devotion to our Lord.  Instead, there are many yardsticks by which we can tell if we are following the right path. 

One of my favorite such measurements, despite (or maybe because of) its being one of the scariest is the following:

How do you, or how will you, react to the news that heaven is going to be populated, to a large extent, by people you vehemently disagree with on some very important issues, don’t like in the least, and/or you simply can’t stand being around?

If you are a card carrying conservative Republican, you are going to be sharing heaven with a lot of card carrying liberal Democrats, and vice-versa.   If you are adamantly, unshakably pro-choice, you are going to be sharing heaven with plenty of people who are adamantly, unshakably pro-life, and vice-versa.   If you are a staunch defender of the 2^nd Amendment, you are going to be sharing heaven with a lot of people who wish that Mr. Madison had taken the day off when that amendment was written, and vice-versa.  If you are white and don’t like blacks moving into your neighborhood, you are going to be sharing eternity with plenty of blacks, and vice-versa.  If you are Catholic and think that only those who follow Rome are going to make it past St. Peter, guess what?   There will be a LOT of Protestants in heaven…and vice-versa.   And, perhaps most controversially of all for many who share my belief in Jesus as my God, Lord, and Savior, if you are Christian and are absolutely convinced only Christians go to heaven, you are going to have plenty of Jews, Muslims, Hindus, Buddhists, and people of no particular faith as neighbors for eternity.   (See my 11/14/12 post, YOU MEAN NON-CHRISTIANS DON’T GET TO COME TO HEAVEN?, http://insightfulpontificator.blogspot.com/2012/11/you-mean-non-christians-dont-get-to.html)  And if you are any of the aforementioned and are convinced that Christians are badly misguided in our belief that Jesus is God, you better get used to us, because we’re going to be living with you for eternity. 

If you are a Bear fan, you’re going to be keeping company with plenty of Packer fans in the Great Upstairs, and vice-versa.  If you get misty-eyed whenever you get within 100 miles of South Bend, I almost hate to break it to you, but there will be plenty of Trojan, Spartan, Wolverine, and Crimson Tide fanatics in the seats next to you in the Great Stadium in the sky, and vice-versa, and John, Duffy, Bo, and Bear will be sharing the assistant coaching duties with Knute and Frank.   And, perhaps the worst news of all to many of my friends, if you are Sox fan, there will be plenty of Cub fans passing you your Old Style down the eternal aisle…and vice versa.  Finally, and one that hits home, those of us who simply cannot stand being around people who pay scant, if any, attention to their personal hygiene will find ourselves with plenty of heavenly neighbors who think nothing of skipping the toothbrush or the shower for days on end.  (But, Lord, I hope that part of the admission drill is an eternity long ration of soap, deodorant, toothpaste, mouthwash, etc. and a quick lesson their proper, and frequent, use!)

Simply put, God doesn’t look for ways to exclude people; He, or She, looks for ways to include people.  The last thing He, or She, wants is to be separated from any of His, or Her, children for ETERNITY.   What parent would even want to consider, let alone be pleased with and/or seek, such an outcome?  While many of us think we have all the answers, none of us has the answer as to how God can forgive so magnanimously and welcome so enthusiastically and how He, or She, considers matters we think so vital or mere quibbles over arcane and ultimately meaningless doctrine, preferences, or prejudices…

 “…as far as the east is from the west, so far does he remove our transgressions from us.” Psalm 103:12

and

“For my thoughts are not your thoughts, neither are your ways my ways, declares the LORD.”  Isaiah 55:8

Very importantly, perhaps especially for us Christians, is that God was speaking to believers when He, or She, said these things through the psalmist and the prophet.  S/He was pointing out how far His or Her thoughts are from those even of believers, and how he forgave the transgressions of believers, which presupposes acknowledgement that believers do indeed commit transgressions.

That God is so inclusive and so forgiving should be very good news for all of us.  But many of us, if we are honest with ourselves, do not like the idea of sharing heaven with “those people,” whoever they may be, who don’t “deserve it,” like we do.  I would bet heavily, if I were a betting man, that just about all of us have this attitude; the only question is the matter of degree to which we have it.  The extent to which we have the “You mean they’re going to be there too?!!!” attitude is the extent to which we have work to do if we are to get in line with God.

Indeed, that God is so inclusive and so forgiving should be very good news for all of us, especially for those of us who, in our hearts of hearts, don’t like the idea of His being so inclusive and forgiving…because we are neither inclusive nor forgiving.

NEWTOWN AND KINDRED ABOMINATIONS: HIGHER PURPOSE…OR A SLAP IN GOD’S FACE?

6/5/13




While coming home from Mass this morning, I heard a snippet of a radio program in which a spiritual advisor of sorts (I did not catch her name or her background.) discussing how she explained the Newtown massacre to a man who asked how God could let such a tragedy happen.



The advisor said she counseled the man to imagine that there must have been some higher purpose to the Newtown shootings, a higher and infinite purpose that we, as humans couldn’t possibly understand. She said the man went away somewhat comforted.



Whether the man who sought her counsel went away comforted, I don’t know. But to the advisor’s explanation of how God could have allowed Newtown, I can only say



“No! No! No!”



The “higher purpose” explanation assumes that God intended Newtown, and abominations like it, to occur in order to achieve that higher purpose. But God does not intend such horrific things, or even far less horrific things, to occur. The Newtown shooter was using his free will to defy God. It isn’t God’s will that the tragedies of human life occur, as some well meaning people often say after such horrible things take place. Such killings or other manifestations of man’s inhumanity, or worse, to man are done in defiance of God’s will.



Newtown was not, as the “higher purpose” explanation would imply, a case of someone saying “Yes” to God; Newtown was a case of someone saying “No” to God, even if unconsciously.



Will God do all that He can, within the confines of the restrictions His human agents put on Him, to make the best of such ghastly events as Newtown? Yes. Will some good consequently come of them? Yes. But that does not mean that God somehow intended such tragedies to occur in order to achieve what good can be salvaged from them. The relatively very small good that can and usually does arise from such unspeakable tragedies is a case of God trying to make the best of a horrible situation that He clearly did not intend.

PARABLE OF THE TALENTS: IS GOD REALLY THIS HARSH?

6/4/13




Today I had the occasion to read, again, Matthew 25, 14-30, which is not all that different from Luke 19, 12-27. Both recount the familiar story of the man who, as Matthew puts it (Matthew 25, 14), “was going on a journey.” He parcels out his possessions to his servants to manage while he is away. In Matthew’s gospel, one servant is entrusted with five talents, one gets two talents, and one gets one talent, “…each according to his ability.” (25, 15) A talent was a coin the value of which varied with the metal used to fabricate it, rather than the whims of the monetary authorities, in those pre-Federal Reserve days of the New Testament. But the use of the talent, rather than some other unit of coinage, may not have been an accident; see the latter portions of this post. Then again, the use of the talent may have been a complete coincidence and the assumed double meaning may have been an accident of translation. In Luke, each servant gets ten “coins,” but the number becomes confusing when the returns are calculated, sort of like dealing with some dealers, but I digress.



We all know the rest of the story. The guy who got the five talents made another five. The guy who got two talents made another two. Think of these guys as the patron saints as hedge fund managers. The guy who got one talent went off, dug a hole, and buried the talent in it, fearing his master…



“…a demanding person, harvesting where you did not plant and gathering where you did not scatter;…” Matthew 25, 24



…and his master’s reaction if the servant were to lose his money.



The master comes home and is pleased with the first two servants, who were “faithful in small matters” (25, 21) and consequently gives them “great responsibilities” (25, 21). But the master, presumably God, is not at all happy with the timid fellow, presumably of limited abilities, who buried his talent in the ground, telling him



“Should you not then have put my money in the bank so that I could have got it back with interest on my return?”(25, 27)



This was long before Ben Bernanke came around and effectively abolished such quaint notions as interest on bank accounts, but, again, I digress.



So what does the master do? He takes the talent from the guy who buried it in the backyard, and thus has only one, and gives it to the guy who has ten. Then, to reinforce his point, he orders his other servants to



“…throw this useless servant into the darkness outside, where there will be wailing and grinding of teeth.” (25, 30)



Talk about harsh!



What’s going on here? Is God that harsh with those of who fail? Does he punish those who fail, either out of incompetence or timidity, to reward the bold and the successful? Though some who preach the “prosperity gospel” might make this argument, there are better explanations.



The first of these explanations is that this passage is descriptive, rather than prescriptive. The rich do indeed get richer, the poor get poorer, a story at least as old as the Old Testament. This does not mean this human condition is good or advisable…it just is.



A second, more satisfying, explanation is that those who seek to develop their understanding of God and His will for them (their talents) will increase that knowledge and understanding. Those who are indifferent to those plans of God will lose touch with God and drift away from His will or any desire to fulfill it. The result will be a pointless life and a worse afterlife.



This second explanation has elements of descriptiveness; those who work at things, be they athletics, academics, trades, skills, etc., will develop them. Those who don’t work at things will see those abilities or skills diminish. But the more profound meaning is prescriptive: work on your relationship with God and it will grow. Ignore it and it will become a mere veneer, a surface relationship that is unsustainable.



Yet a third explanation is ideally suited to the situation described in this passage. There are some who have somehow achieved positions of teaching authority in various churches who have perverted the message of God’s love. They teach us that God is not a loving Father, but an unyielding tyrant who must be served…or else. And they have taken it upon themselves to determine what constitutes good service of God, which usually coincides with good service, and unquestioning fealty, to them. Those who listen to these self-appointed, and self-serving, “agents” of God are filled not with love for God but, instead, with fear of Him. Rather than take chances, question God, even occasionally argue with God in series of faith enhancing and love building encounters, they cower and they fear. They bury their faith in the backyard and tremble before God. They beg and bow and scrape, terrified that God might be angry with them and their utter worthlessness, as taught and reinforced by those whom they have been taught are God’s agents and teachers. Their faith withers, dies, and is replaced by terror. Their fate is not a good one…but it is not nearly as bad as the fate of those who taught them that God is to be feared rather than loved, that God terrorizes rather than loves.

“MOVIE BINGO: GOOD, BAD, OR CONDEMNED?”: VICKI QUADE SCORES ANOTHER ONE FOR THE SISTERS

5/21/13

When I first saw “Late Nite Catechism” years ago, I did so reluctantly, at the behest (insistence, really) of some friends.  I thought “Oh, no.  Another one of these addle-brained ‘comedies’ in which the sisters are made the butt of inane jokes about their imagined narrow-mindedness, stupidity, or sadism.”   I, for one, love the Springfield Dominicans who educated me many years ago at St. Walter on the south side of Chicago.  They were terrific educators who followed the Lord and did their best to extend His love and concern to their charges.   They worked us hard and demanded a lot…and we thank them for it.  So I have little tolerance for poseurs and inane cheap shot artists who, having known little of the Catholic education they so ridicule, make these wonderful, holy women the targets of thoughtless, brainless “humor.”  

But “Late Nite Catechism” took me by complete surprise. Ms. Quade’s production was flawless. Yes, it was, to use too weak a word, funny…in fact, it was tears of laughter streaming out of the eyes, nearly falling out of one’s chair hysterical. Yet, at the same time, it was respectful of the work of the sisters and the love they have for God, for the Church, and for their youthful charges. In fact, Ms. Quade donates a portion of the proceeds of each show to religious orders to help the sisters as they struggle with the financial challenges born of lots of older sisters, few younger sisters, and very little coming in to support even their spartan existences.




After “Late Nite Catechism,” my wife and I became huge Vicki Quade fans. We’ve seen “Put the Nuns in Charge,” “Sunday School Cinema,” and “Mother Superior’s Ho-Ho-Holy Night.” So we always eagerly anticipate the next production to emerge from the cauldron of creativity that is Ms. Quade’s mind. We were therefore delighted to learn that “Movie Bingo: Good, Bad, or Condemned?” would be coming to one of our local parishes, St. Thomas the Apostle in Naperville. Our anticipation and excitement were mixed with a touch of concern, however; could Ms. Quade possibly keep up the standard of excellence, hilarity, and poignancy that has been set by her earlier productions?

Our concern was misplaced. “Movie Bingo: Good, Bad, or Condemned?” meets or exceeds the “Quade standard” set by her earlier productions, and especially by “Late Nite Catechism.” The show is hysterical, engaging, thought provoking, and brain challenging. It probably is skewed more toward outright hilarity, and less toward the profundity that always finds it way into her productions. But the increased laughs detract not at all from the show; I suspect most people would find “Movie Bingo’s” heightened emphasis on generating a good belly laugh a plus.




While I wish that Ms. Quade would have worn her usual habit and played a sister in the show, I understand her appearing as a lay person (substituting for the absent priest, of course, just as “Sister” did in her previous productions!). The Church is changing; younger members of the Church, and of Ms. Quade’s audience, probably have never seen a sister in her habit. And we “older” Catholics, who’ve lived “Late Nite Catechism” and its fellow Quade creations lose nothing by Ms. Quade’s appearing as a lay person in “Movie Bingo.” Still…next time, Ms. Quade…PLEASE bring Sister back!



Congratulations to Vicki Quade on another hit that should have them rolling in the aisles…again. And this from someone who literally did roll in the aisles in sixth grade at St. Walter in response to a joke told by my buddy Mike Graber…and incurred the wrath of Sister Agnes for doing so!



And thank you, Ms. Quade, for all you do for the sisters who have done so much for us.





For more information on “Movie Bingo: Good, Bad, or Condemned?”, please go to Nuns4fun.com. One of Ms. Quade’s mottos is “Have nun, will travel;” she puts on these shows in venues across the nation.

HOW THIS CHRISTIAN WOULD FEEL ABOUT HOLDING MY KID’S GRADUATION CEREMONY IN A “JEWISH TEMPLE” OR A “MUSLIM MOSQUE”

5/12/13




The Supreme Court is currently considering a church and state case from the 7th Circuit. The case concerns the Elmbrook School District, which is located just outside Milwaukee. The district has been holding it graduation ceremonies in the evangelical Elmbrook Church for the last decade because the high school gym, in which the ceremonies had previously been held, is small and lacks air conditioning. The Elmbrook Church, on the other hand, is modern, large, bristles with modern amenities, and is therefore physically ideal for a graduation ceremony.



Several non-Christian parents have sued, however, stating that they didn’t want their kids’ graduation ceremonies held in a church that, not surprisingly, prominently displays a Christian cross. The 7th Circuit agreed with the plaintiffs, the school district appealed, and the Supreme Court is considering whether to take the case. How this case will come out is, of course, important for church and state reasons but also, one might argue, as a test for how far our society has traveled down the road of the craziness that ensues when people look for reasons to be publicly offended and therefore aggrieved.



The focus of this post, however, is not on the outcome of the case, but on a statement made by Ayesha Khan, legal director for Americans United for Separation of Church and State, which represented the plaintiffs. Ms. Khan advised Christians to



“…stop and think about how it would feel if their high school graduation ceremonies were held in a Jewish temple or a Muslim mosque, where diplomas were handed out beneath a looming Star of David or Islamic crescent.”



(A side note…I’m not an expert on Judaism, but wouldn’t it be impossible to hold a graduation ceremony in a “Jewish temple”? Isn’t, or wasn’t, there only one temple, in Jerusalem, which is currently in ruins? Aren’t the modern places of worship in Judaism therefore not temples but synagogues? I might be wrong here; Jewish congregations are often called, for example, “Temple Beth Israel,” so maybe that is what Ms. Khan is referring to. But, technically, are these places really temples? I’m not trying to belittle Ms. Khan here; I’m genuinely curious because I’ve heard both sides of this question. Perhaps those of you with a stronger knowledge of Judaism can enlighten me and my readers.)



I could tell Ms. Khan directly how this Christian would feel if my, or my kids’, “graduation ceremony were held in a Jewish temple or a Muslim mosque, where diplomas were handed out beneath a looming Star of David or Islamic crescent.”…



I would be honored, and so would most Christians.



I would be honored that a Jewish, Muslim (or Buddhist, Hindu, or most any other faith) congregation would share their most sacred space, the place they go to worship God, with me. And I would take the opportunity to say a prayer not only for the graduates but also for the congregation that was so generous and magnanimous as to let us share their holy place.



Further, in the case of a graduation in a synagogue, I would be especially honored and awed. I would feel that my kid’s, or my, graduation was being held in the same setting that Jesus’ graduation would have been held if he indeed had graduated from school. (We don’t know whether Jesus had any formal education; while Mark 6, 2



“When the Sabbath came he began to teach in the synagogue, and many who heard him were astonished. They said ‘Where did this man get all this? What kind of wisdom has been given him?’”



and Matthew 13, 54, which is based on it, might be interpreted to mean that Jesus was wholly uneducated, they might merely indicate that he was not trained as a rabbi.)



Honored and grateful…that is how I would feel about a graduation ceremony in a synagogue or a mosque. And I suspect that most Jews and Muslims would, and do, feel the same way about a graduation ceremony held in a Christian church. Further, I suspect that everyone would share my feelings about holding graduation ceremonies in a hot, stuffy, cramped high school gym.

“I WISH YOU HEALTH, AND MORE THAN WEALTH, I WISH YOU (THE HOLY SPIRIT)”?

4/25/13




How many of us don’t feel a little disappointed after reading Luke 11, 9-13?



“And I tell you, ask and you will receive; seek and you will find; knock and the door will be opened to you. For everyone who asks receives; and the one who seeks, finds; and to the one who knocks, the door will be opened. What father among you would hand his son a snake when he asks for a fish? Or hand him scorpion when he asks for an egg? If you, then, who are wicked, know how to give good gifts to your children, how much more will your Father in heaven give the holy Spirit to those who ask him?” (Emphasis mine)

Reading the first for sentences of this very oft quoted passage, we start to get excited. We start to think something like



“All I have to do is ask, knock, and/or seek and I will get what I want? Wow! Money, fame, a McMansion, a nice car are mine for the asking? Okay, okay, maybe I’ll ask for something more noble: health for me and my family, wisdom, respect, okay, maybe even something really admirable for world peace. Hey, it can’t hurt to ask for something like that if I want to get what I really want, right? But this is great…Jesus says all I have to do is ask! Hand me that Lexus full line brochure!”



Then it hits us



“…how much more will your Father in heaven give the holy Spirit to those who ask him?”



The holy Spirit? Is that what the Father will give us if we ask Him? The holy Spirit? This is like the kid who asked for the train set for Christmas and got a football, a few books, and some socks instead. He’s really disappointed because he didn’t get what he wanted, but he acts excited, or at least contented, because he didn’t get what he wanted. So, yeah, the holy Spirit; that’s good, that’s cool. Thanks. But how about that couple million bucks, the nice place downtown, and the Lexus?



There are plenty of people out there, maybe some of you, who would say something like



“ I am overjoyed to receive the holy Spirit. That was, after all, Jesus’ promise to His disciples at the Last Supper and, ultimately, it was all that they needed and more than they could ask for. So how could I possibly ask for more? Thanks, God, for sending me your Spirit.”



If indeed that is your attitude, congratulations. You are a close follower of Christ and an exemplary Christian. Seriously; I’m not being sarcastic here. If you were given the chance to ask for anything in the world and genuinely and honestly would ask for the holy Spirit in response, you have genuinely opened your heart to Jesus.



Yours truly, on the other hand, would like to think that I would ask for the holy Spirit rather than money, power, or something more noble, like health and prosperity for my children. But, even though I’m working on it, I’m not there yet.